I’m not disabled, that’s how I seen it. I have different abilities than most, I can remember almost anything, I can smell some numbers and some words feel funny. I don’t like being around to many people at once, I’m not great with loud noises.

I am good at a lot of things. Nannying being one. I work as a nannying and I love it. Children and me normally get along. I love children. They are fantastically.

 

I also have chronic illnesses, Autism, happens to be one, but it doesn’t change who I am but I feel like sometimes it changes the way people see me. I don’t normally just come out to someone and say “hey, hey, hey I’m autistic” but I’ll tell them sometimes when its important for them to know.

People act like things like being in a wheelchair or being unable to walk long ways or being chronically sick and in and out of the hospitals are such a horrible and disabilities life to live.

 

I mean people see it as the worst thing sometimes but its not that bad. Its just kind of well life. I like life, Its weird and random. I’ve met amazing nurses and doctors and I have made amazing friends who also have chronic illnesses I wouldn’t have met them if it wasn’t for my illnesses.

Its not a disability I have it’s a different ability. I can do a whole lot, and there are some things I can’t do but aren’t all humans bad at some stuff and good at others, I really enjoy writing and reading. I happen to be bad at telling people my emotions sometimes. But thats not a disability its a different ability.

I wish people would understand that it’s not all hard, a lot of it is good. I have a different life not disadvantage life. I don’t wish my brain and body worked different I’m okay with this body that doesn’t stay together and doesn’t digest food and doesn’t work like it should or make hormones I’m okay with all of that because I am able to live. I’m not disabled to live. I’m not dead, I’m alive and I’m well.

 Life isn’t all bad life is good. Life is amazing. We aren’t disabled in a wheelchair, or disabled in the mind, we are different but we are amazing. It just takes time to know how amazing we are. So give us a chance.  

Let me start….

 

1. They are hard to deal with, but that doesn’t mean impossible. I hate it when people act like having food allergies sounds like the worst thing that could ever happen.
2. I can’t eat the food I’m allergic to. Doesn’t matter if its organic or if its grown in a field of only flowers. I can’t eat it.
3. I did hear they are working on a cure, I most likely heard it before you, like a while ago. Thanks for the update.
4. When I say I can’t eat something please just take my word.
5. I’m picky yes, but if I wasn’t picky I’d die, from anaphylaxis. If I seem rude for not eating something at your party just know if I did eat it, I’d most likely ruin your party by having an ambulance come and pick me up.
6. You have to ask questions if you don’t ask questions then you could end up sick or dead.
7. I can die from the smell and touch of some foods, if you have popcorn be careful not to touch me after eating it. You might hurt me, and I promise you thats not what you want. Just please listen.
8. They are serious and dangerous. And can be deadly.
9. Being “Too Careful” isn’t a thing. You can never be too careful. Food allergies are serious and if not careful can kill me and other people please take just seriously.
10. I read every label, I can tell you almost everything that is in my food. Its kind of cool, or I think it is.
11. I’m going to be okay, as long as I am careful. Food Allergies are hard but they aren’t as hard as you think they are.

This has been Shay-De Foodie Friday!!! 

Shayweaseling it!! 

1. The fact that I have been alive for 23 years is amazing!
2. To meet Macy in person!! (Hopefully summer sometime!)
3. I can’t wait for my Niece Wavey’s first birthday
4. Hopefully get some new doctors and treatment!!
5. Finding new books to read
6. To see my nephew Carson get fully adopted out of foster care.
7. Being able to keep working and making this blog and website better!!
8. Seeing my nieces and nephews get more amazing
9. Watching Rory turn four years old!
10. Going to the beach
11. To listen to all the new music that comes out!
12. To see the world become better
13. For Walking Dead to come back on in October… Let me be honest
14. For my parents 30th anniversary this year!
15. Not vomiting everyday… That’s more of a hope but I’d be really excited if that happened..
16. To get new glasses!
17. Halloween and Scream Queens!!
18. Making 100 post on my website!
19. All the projects I have working on and to be able to show them to the world!
20. Working to make myself a better person each day!
21. Going on roadtrip… It will happen.. Always does!
22. Making art!
23. Living…Being able to breath and laugh everyday.

1. I really don’t like being around a lot of people and thats okay. I knew this was true but I accepted it this year.
2. Emojis make text convos really funny.
3. I seriously love reality TV shows and children cartoons!!!
4. Ice Cream really does heal things.
5. Dye Free Children’s Benadryl from Walgreens does really taste the best.
6. Some diseases have no cure and no treatment and they need one..
7. I freaking love dance moms it’s so dramatic when I watch it I forget about my life
8. Meeting People online can become really good friends!!! (Hey Macy, Hey Aileen)
9. I can get ready really fast. Adding on to that I don’t need makeup to look good.
10. I’m a really good photographer, I’m proud of that.
11. Wearing a Medical ID bracelet does make me feel safer, Adding on to that one Anaphylaxis is horrifyingly scary.
12. The Medical world can suck but I have Spoonie friends to complain to – Also learned what spoonies are (chronically Ill people)
13. Blogs aren’t just for moms and moody teens there is a lot of really awesome blogs.
14. EDM is pretty awesome, and no I couldn’t go to a show of an EDM artist because they would have lots of flashing lights which is one possible way to send Shay into a seizure but their music is pretty awesome and I like that.
15. I love walking around stores like target and ross, and not buying anything. Its like people watching with weirdness and random items.
16. There are always lots of opinions, you just have to know them. I don’t have to say yes to anything I don’t feel comfortably with. and No is an acceptable answer.
17. There is a yoga move for everything in life. Stress? Got that! Anger? Got it! Every emotion has a yoga move.
18. I have a weird act for finding videos and them becoming popular a month or weeks later. Its strange… It happened so many times.
19. I’m addicted to itunes.. I have a problem but no you may not help me with it unless by helping you mean buying me iTunes gift cards if that is the case you may help as much as you please!!
20. Life is random
21. When all else fails eat ice cream, yogurt, and drink out of glass water bottles.
22. I’m a wonderful person I’ll make mistakes and the past really does stay in the past. I love my life

That was what I learned over the past year, I guess you could say this year changed my life, but really every year, every day, every moment, changes your life in some ways.

Happy Birthday to me!!!

 

1. My family is really cool, they do love me and they do care about me. I have a great family and they make my life better not worse.
2. I’m different then other people, but that’s okay, I never needed to be like everyone else anyway. I shouldn’t have tried so hard.
3. Life goes on without people, no matter how much you love someone when they die you have to move on but not forget them. I have lost people all my life but losing my Grandma Rosa and losing my small service dog Beng rocked my world, and losing my adopted grandpa CC, all have been so hard to handle, but I really can get through it.
4. My boobs are… Noticeably…. well sized and that is acceptable.
5. I’m not perfect, I make mistakes and so does everyone else.
6. I really do love reality TV shows and I’ve really had to accepted this fact this year. Its been hard.
7. I have chronic illness.
8. I’m sick.
9. I don’t need to try to fit in.
10. I have autism and it will never go away. I embraced that I had it years ago but I accepted it fully this year.
11. I like to think.. And think is an acceptable thing to do.
12. I really do get fed up with people easily and I’m accepting this as something that will always happen but it doesn’t mean I need to get mad at them.
13. Doctors are really annoying and they suck sometimes but it doesn’t mean all doctors are that way there are good doctors out there and they can be found. And they will help.
14. My body will keep failing me but I won’t fail it.
15. Dying isn’t that horrifying. And neither is death.
16. My life will be bad sometimes but that doesn’t mean I have to be bad.
17. I can be a pollyanna type person and still be an adult.
18. I’m an adult. And can vote and I sign papers and yea…
19. I am human I have rights I have a voice and I’m smart. I can talk I can speak and I can speak up when need be.
20. I will always get to be my ever changing self and thats a wonderful thing.
21. I don’t ever have to get married or be in a sexual relationship for my life to matter, I do whatever I want
22. I’m happy. I have emotions.

 

Emotions are insane, if you think deeply about them… I mean the fact that we can feel emotions is insane, like we can feel happy, sad, thoughtful, weird, strange, in love, we can have emotions like anger that can take you over, and you can have emotions like lust that can make you do insane things.

Let emotions be felt, because they need to be felt. You need to let emotions live out in a world of happiness even if the emotion isn’t happiness.

Life should never be one emotion, you might want emotion to be happy but life isn’t one emotion, life is ten emotions, life is different every moment of the day, life is emotion, emotion is important, life is amazing when you let yourself be okay sometimes but also let yourself live all the time.

Don’t sit and watch your life go past you, do something everyday to smile, laugh everyday, make things be emotion filled, but make sure it isn’t one emotion.

Let emotions be emotions. Let them be felt, let them be heard, emotions are amazing, emotions make the whole a more amazing place to live.

Be emotionally. Let yourself cry, smile, feel joy, feel sad, feel good, feel weird, feel the unknown, feel fearfully, have emotions.

Life is hard, but good, but horrible too. And if you push back emotions like sadness and anger you won’t be able to live life because life is meant to be felt. And pain is a part of life, so let emotions out and be emotinally amazing. Let the world know you will live in this world, because you are a good person, you are a good life to be lived and you are a good soul if you let yourself be. Be emotional.. And be fantastically…

This has been Little Wise One Mondays…

 

Food Allergies, are a strange thing, they basically are like your body getting angry for having food…

My body I’ve learned over time really dislikes lots of foods, I am a Foodie, and I love Shady foods like flowers to eat or put in tea, oh my goodness do I love tea!! Tea is one of my favourite things that ever happened to the drink world. I love making hot tea, Its so wonderful.

This week is Food Allergies Awareness Week, I want to make a point for you to understand what its like to live with a food allergies.

First off, I know everything that goes into my body, I know every ingredient that I read, I can tell you way more about reading labels then I can about like half the world. I know what to look for. I can also tell you what will be in something, like you pick up say some ice cream I could tell you it has corn syrup, things along those lines.

Foods like corn, wheat, soy, cover about 75% of all processed food, add in rice, potato, barley, rye, nuts and seeds, you have a lot of food you can’t have. Its hard going to the store and going what can I have?

One as you might know is I can have is oatmeal!! so thankful for oatmeal. I’m strangely not allergic to milk or eggs, its the only top 8 allergens in america I am not allergic to. Goal for sure. I don’t like having food allergies but I’m ok with it.

I’ve come to really enjoy the weird things I can have. I also feel like I always know what is in my food, I like that.

At first it’s so hard, you aren’t use to having to ask questions or read labels I found out right before christmas when I was 17 years old, its a strange new world. I took a deep breath because this vegan chick at the time who I was… Didn’t know what to eat or drink or how to live. It was really hard but after a while I got use to reading labels it became just something I did.

I’m not afraid to ask questions. When I go out to eat I know places that I can ask questions like Red Robin and Applebees are always so helpful and they don’t seem to get annoyed when I ask so many questions, but you learn to adapt to it. Its sorta nice to say the least.

I don’t personally put anything in my mouth without knowing everything that’s in it. I have had a few scares, they are going to happen. One day I had a turkey burger and went into anaphylaxis and then when the ambulance came I was awake I was talking and then the Epi wore off and I went into anaphylactic shock, I passed out and woke up at the hospital, I was given three that night, from a turkey burger I made at home but we don’t know what it was. I haven’t eaten turkey since because of it.

Food allergies are scary but they are manageable, they are something you can live with. You just have to get use to it.

Personally I’m kind of thankful for my food allergies, I was one night looking on Instagram under the hashtag #cornallergy and I came across someone who had baby food, I wrote on there saying that is my favourite kind of baby food which I was on at the time a baby food diet that was.

This girl wrote back and said it’s so good, we went on and then I reached out and wrote her on Instagram in a direct message, we started talking and then after a while of talking I gave her my phone number and we’ve talked daily since.

We talk about things that are annoying about having food allergies and other health problems that we both have. We talk about life. We talk about everything. We also make the most fantastic snapchats..

Its something about living when you know that your body fights things. That changes the world you have. I love my body I love the different things that happen with it.

I mean I still get annoyed with it but I love it.

Okay so all that to say that food allergies are insane, food allergies are hard but the best thing you can do is accept them. Don’t be afraid to ask questions don’t be afraid to reach out to others because you never know.

 

So this has been Shay-De Foodie Friday! Talking about food allergies, Come back on Sundays for randomness and Wednesdays for Wesday the day where I rant about whatever I please.

 

Remember this as you leave food allergies aren’t the end of the world they are just the end of eating that food and that’s okay. You can do this. I have faith in you.

Shayweasel Out!!

We might not live it up, we might not own the night, we might sit on sofas unable to do much, we might live in pain till the end of time. We might be the ones to wear mask out in public, we might be… We might be….

We one thing’s for sure… We are fantastic… We are strong…

We might not find a cure, we might be in pain daily, we might be amazing, we might be ill till we can barely go on.. But we go on..

We might be spoonies who’ve run out of spoons. We might be awesome, we might be sick but one thing’s for sure we are fantastic. We are strong…

We are netflix all day watchers, we are barely moving for hours, we are pain takers, and vomit makers.. We are pill takers and feeding tube wears with style I might add. We are breathing treatment and vest takers and we are dealing with pain and cleaning up vomit. We are picc line and port and hickline wears that save our lives, We are epipen and auviQ users. We are leg and arm braces wearers and wheelchair users and We are service dog owners and we are fantastic

We might fight life hell for treatment, we might not find a cure, but will fight for treatment. We might point out things wrong on Grey’s Anatomy and we might can name every med in the book

We are chronically in pain, suffering and sick as can be. We might almost die on a yearly basis and we might have good days.

But we all dream.. Of a day with treatment, cures, a day without pain, without suffering but we do dream. We dream of health… A good health…

We might be sick, we might be ill, we might be happy, we might be funny, we might be fabulous, we might be amazingly fantastic. But we are strong. We will be strong daily.

  We are fighters… Fighting our bodies…

Shayweasel out.. 

When I was younger I was a hyper child, this one story my mom likes to tell people is about.. We had this song and in the song it says walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, in my brain I couldn’t understand why or who would want to put on another person’s shoes and walk, my mom would use this as an explain for years to tell people how I thought, I at first thought my mom told this story because she was annoyed by it, but then I learned it was because my mom loved the way I thought..

My mom wasn’t perfect she made mistakes, but when she would kiss me on the head and wait for me to hug her, I know my mom loves me. I know she would do anything for me. I love her, I don’t and didn’t always show it growing up.

When I was 10 years old, we went to this homeschool group on Fridays and I was having to switch teachers because of my normal teacher had her baby earlier, so I went to class unknowing of this change, and my mind didn’t like seeing the new teacher there, I got really nervous and tried to calm myself down but nothing worked and I slowly got worse, as I sat in my normal seat all I wanted was my mom.

So I told the teacher I needed to go and she let me. I went to where my mom was, I was crying and I was scared, I couldn’t find my mom at first which made me worse, when I found her she pulled me close and she didn’t yell at me she didn’t tell me I was stupid for being upset she just held me.

She never asked me what was wrong she knew. She never told me to calm myself down she knew I was trying. She asked “What do you need?” I told her I needed something to eat, my mom got me a cookie she somehow had, and we stayed in this room and she let me calm down. She sang me a song and she told me “Baby its okay to get upset, I love you anytime.” I remember this because it was the first time in my life I knew for a fact that my mom didn’t care that I was different.

She didn’t care that my brain was so different that even I knew not what it was doing she loved me all of me. She loved my differences she loved me. I wasn’t Shay the person who had panic attacks I was Shay who loved life. I was her baby, I still am, I mean I am the youngest so sadly no matter what I do I’m going to be her baby.

When you grow up with a difference you learn that whats different about you is okay, that its okay to be different and that the world is going to tell you that you need to be more like everyone else, but I remember and remind myself all the time that my mom she will love me for not be like everyone else, that my mom doesn’t love me in spite of my differences, but she loves me as a whole, she loves everything about me.

I’m sure raising me was hard, and I’m sure all the times I said mean things and felt like no one understood (because no one truly can) she loved me, she cared for me, she wanted me to be her child.

So this has been my Mothers Day post on Sunday my day of randomness….

Thanks to Sherri Trussell for raising me and teaching me to write, so I can now write this post to you! Love you mom!!

Shayweaseling it!!