A few weeks ago my aunt Helen joined friends and family and above all else God in heaven! Her death wasn’t done naturally she died because a nurse overloaded her with medication. This shouldn’t happen. But it does. More then we know it does. Or just think about.

She was transferred to a long term hospital she had gotten off the ventilator. She still needed to have oxygen and things she was fed through a feeding tube (as I am as well.) she was on dialysis, she was on IV antibiotics that were to remain till she died. I had hoped that death wouldn’t come soon like it did.

On Friday she arrived there. They woke her up to give her medicine to help her relax. And they did it twice. Medicine that she hadn’t been taking much of because it relaxes her to much and she couldn’t breath well enough. Her blood pressure would drop They woke her up again in the morning and gave her more. The nurse had another patient she was taking care of who also passed away. she was taking care of her other patient and she didn’t come to see Helen soon enough.

We all know Stephanie most likely the top favorite but I’m pretty sure she loved adorably hippo Rory! My aunt Helen is the embodiment of what a it looks like to be an aunt! I learned how to be an aunt from her and I love it!!! She gave me old hats she collected when I was younger because I loved them so much! She gave me love weirdness and understanding. She was bossy straightforward and emotionally committed to her nieces and nephews! I am grateful God have me her!

I have lots of memory of my aunt Helen! Of her being funny weird and sarcastic! She was strangely graceful and always looking for trouble! In the best way possible! She woked as a ceo Running companies and fighting for what she believed in. She showed us sign confidence! She showed us how to be spunky. She was and always will be one of my favorite people I’ve ever known.

My aunt Helen was a Godly women! When I was a baby my parents let my aunt Helen and my grandma Rose watched me and my sister Stephie and my brother Sean. She took us to the movies and I cried and didn’t like being in the theater. They had to take me out and couldn’t figure out why I was so upset. They had just weird looks in their eyes. It is one of my first memories. It was with her and my grandma Rose who both didn’t seem mad at me but confused but yet I knew them and I know now that they loved me. My aunt Helen use to tell me she wanted to name Sigourney because she thought it was a cool name and said as I got older that the name would have fit me because Sigourney Wever played Dian Fossey and I loved animals just like Dian did. It was weird way to think about my name but it was a surely aunt Helen way to think about things.

She knew me well. I called her all the time. She was the first person I knew to have a cell phone in 1994ish and I thought it was so cool! She kept the same phone number till last year. She was a wonderful and bossy lady.

She helped me not be scared of tubes and central lines.

About a month ago my aunt helens insurance called to say they wouldn’t be covering her anymore because she wasn’t in Texas anymore. She was in Texas but they said because she had her mail sent to North Carolina that she wasn’t. She hadn’t been out of the hospital. She was in the hospital for over 17 months. She wasn’t even ever out of the state. Then the hospital all the sudden wanted her to leave.

The hospital did love my aunt Helen she knew everybody there. By name. And she knew their stories and stuff and half of the time she was there she wasn’t able to talk due to the tracheostomy. She was able to use the speaking valve. And I did get to hear her talk.

But when her insurance did this she was easy to leave because no one wanted to pay. The thing about insurance is that they do this stuff all the time.

So you can sit around blaming the nurse blaming the insurance. Blaming yourself. Blaming your sisters. Blaming your family. Blaming God. But I promise you it won’t help you to blame people. It will not bring her back.

You can try and get justice for her death. Find who’s at fault. Find what to do. But I know my aunt Helen will not come back.

I will miss her. But she is peaceful. She is playing with my dog beng and Dodie she is riding horses fearlessly.

My mom spent so much time doing anything she could do. She was strong. She is strong.

She flew down to Texas about 15 times in the pasted year alone to help her. My mom is a hero in all ways.

I’m sure Helen is wearing black shiny shoes and is laughing.

…….………

There is a song she wrote to the tune of all about that bass. She wrote it while she was in the hospital while one her speaking valve. The lyrics were about loving your self and loving God not worrying about anything because God will take care of you.

“All about that praying, no worries. I’m all about that pray about that pray no worries…”

She who is good kind who follows the Lord!

Shayweasel missing aunt Helen