Brokenly Fighting


Like a broke toy you I can still be played with forever.
I have a teddy bear named teddy his tail fall off like a year ago and the other day my niece Rory and I had surgery on him to fix his tail. She had been telling
Me he needed to be fix because a broken tail isn’t a good thing. So I finally fix it.
The other day she told me something that I thought was wise even if she didn’t mean it to be wise. She was telling me about her white Tiger who sadly turned light blue in the washer a while back she said that it didn’t make it less of a white tiger it just made the tiger a different kind of beautiful.
She smiled at me and all I saw was really pretty perfect little Rory. My niece sees me as she tells me as a different kind of beautiful. She says I might not have my health but I’m funny and she likes me. And I like her.
Last week I had gone into anaphylactic shock I was siting on the floor of the bathroom epipen in hand holding it for ten seconds to my thigh and a 3 year old cutie was watching with cute little eyes and saying “better?” I told her yea better. She smiled and bounced off on her little ball and as Nick her dad and my friend called 911 she wasn’t scared she wasn’t worried and as the paramedics came in through the door she just smiled at them.
My niece is smarter then me because she isn’t scared of a little anaphylaxis she isn’t scared of me going to the hospital because she knows that I got this.
One of her many favorite songs in fight song by Rachel Platten Rory tells me that I got a lot of fight in me and that this monster or disease or monster of a disease has nothing on me and I think she is right, I am fighting a monster that might take my life one day but right now I’m just fighting and I’m like a broken toy but I’m strong enough to live inside this broken toy body and I think I’m okay with that.
My amazingly awesome sister Stephie, my fantastic friend Nick, and a child they brought into this world who is a little human who means more to me then I knew could be true, Rory!

They are all fighting beside and with me and Even for me sometimes, they are like my own personal fight song. They are behind me and I think I’m gonna keep fighting because I have so much fight left in me….

I have my parents, my sisters, my brother, my family. My wonderful friends like Macy, Heather, Rachel, Dara, AnnaJoh, and many more that are fighting with  me. They are amazing. I have this. I’m fighting and I am strong because they are strong with me…

Thanks for fighting with me for me beside me and always doing it with a smile a sweet loving kind voice. I’m strong enough because they are stronger then me!!

Shayweasel out…

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