Today I got a full iron transfusion and I got a ferritin transfusion which is like what holds iron in your body
The iron is then released into the blood stream, where a protein called transferritin or just ferritin attaches to it and delivers the iron to the liver. Iron is stored in the liver as ferritin and released as needed to make new red blood cells in the bone marrow. 
So when my body makes the protein ferritin but my body doesn’t make enough ferritin for my body to hold iron like it should. And on top of this my eosinophils (a type of white blood cells) attack random parts of my body anything from my throat to my colon and then collect in organs like my lungs and liver.  

   My body makes red blood cells but they don’t “live” per-say as long as they should be. So they die off and my body is without the amount of red blood cells as they should. And red blood cells are the blood cells that carry oxygen and help you live. 
  As you can see from these photos this is my disease at its finest. Something you can see.. pale skin, swollen face and kinda puff. My skin seems see through on the photo on the left… the photo on the right is from after I got the transfusion. 

  Now in that one my skin is looking more alive my body isn’t as puffy. I’m not as swollen and most of all I feel slightly better. This is not a fix all for everything but it is a need for me. Blood donors save life’s everyday and they don’t even know it. My blood wasn’t as low as it has been I didn’t get blood fully this time but it’s always something that I might need. 

   So if you feel like doing something amazing this Christmas season then go and donate some blood!! You save life’s every time you donate!! 
  I know people who have to go get blood every few weeks. They wouldn’t be alive without donors. 

  I’m anemic. As has been always will be. But I got iron I got stuff to make me strong. To make me feel better! 

  

  This past year has been insane but one thing is fully and lovingly true. With my family my friends my God and lots of cute humans and dogs!!!! I made it! 

  

 Happiness is sometimes color on your skin. Sometimes it’s just what I need.. 

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  Life is full of joyful things!!… 

Shayweasel got some energy… out!! 

 

I’m a spoonie who isn’t hoping for a cure I’ m just hoping for tomorrow, even if tomorrow is painful. I’ve gotten sicker since I was two weeks, my allergies aren’t getting better, my body has declared a war on me that no one knows how to handle. Doctors look me in the eye and go maybe one day we will have a cure but I can’t dwell on that. I just want treatment and understanding and maybe I wasn’t born to be the first one with the cure. I was born to bring understanding. I don’t find that a bad thing.

If I did get cured. I would have to get use to a whole new world. Would the medicine or surgery mess up my brain the one that cured me? Would I stay shay weasel? Or just be plane shannon and nothing else? Would the cure work for two months and then all the sudden stop working and I die… Sooner then they already had thought…

I’m asking as someone who is scared of all outcomes that hold on to life. Do you understand the life long hardship over living inside these bodies??

My friend Jazzy was talking to me about it. We all don’t have to have the same diseases to have one understanding. We don’t know what will happen tomorrow or if they find a cure or never find a cure. We learn to adapt to the world around us. We are stronger then we know we are.

 

Another point is does God cure some to show we can do it? Or are other not cured because we just don’t need a cure? Do I need a cure? Am I suppose to be showing people how to be alive inside a body that is killing me? Because everything doesn’t happen for a reason but everyone is here for a reason. Even if its a bad reason. We can’t stop. We just adapt.

Every spoonies has different outlooks but me and some of my best friends and me have simpler things we look at. Like me and Jazzy aren’t sure we hope for a cure we pray for understanding. I pray for the love of Christ to be shown through me. Not a cure. Maybe I’m not meant to be cured.

Now I’m not saying I wouldn’t jump at the chance to be healed fully but I wouldn’t jump I would ask questions, I would wonder what the treatment would feel like…. Because for me this has been my life and what if the treatment kills me instead of heals me?
How do you go on when you are cured? Is being cured truly being cured? Where do I draw a small scary line?
So I pray for treatment. I pray for understanding. I pray for love. I pray for you. That you will not only understand the fear of being sick but the joy of being sick. Don’t take advantage of the word cure. The cure of life isn’t living it’s enjoying living. Things will never be simple but I  find happinesss

I found it. In me.
Don’t find it in things. I found happiness at the button of a rock filled place were I was basically stoned and laughed at and I stood there and I spoke with grace. With love. I won….
I don’t need a cure I need love. But if I’m never cured…..
Find me… shayweas…

I’m a lover of most of the tv shows that you’ve made. I’m a huge fan of Between and I totally wanted to watch your show that you put out this summer called Stranger Things. My family watched it, my friends watched it, everyone told me great things about it. It sounded so amazing… but something I really need to tell you. 
    I have seizures that can be easily triggered by flashing lights, and your show stranger things had so many flashing lights I was unable to watch your show. But what’s worst is that I felt left out. Like I wasn’t in on something. I miss out on weird things as someone who is living with a progressive terminal rare disease and I would love to watch stranger things. 

   But I can’t risk a seizure for a tv show. In my world someone I’m watching tc with will almost always say something to me when flashing lights come on and show so I can cover my eyes or turn away. 

   

   Netflix it’s not just you who doesn’t even know they are overlooking people like me who want to watch your shows. It is so many other people. It’s so much in tv shows, music videos, movies and random events. It’s so hard to know that I can not do something like others because I could have a seizure. And if that seizure happened to send me into status epilepticus which I’ve been in about nine times 3 of those made me in a medical induced coma on life support. And one was intubated after my air way collapsed in on itself. 

 

   What I want is simple.. a warning. I want to be able to look at something and it read or say “there is about to be flashing lights,” or “this show could trigger seizures or migraines.” And most of all I want you to somehow say “I’m sorry for the inconvenience.” 
   And a warning to you Netflix is that seizures triggered by flashing lights isn’t rare. There are others like me. We don’t get to watch the show. We feel left out by the over looked world we have to live in. 
  I’m not mad at you. I love you Netflix. I’m always up for Netflix! You do so much good and made hospital stays wonderfully easier and make me be able to watch live shows over and over again. But please don’t over look the triggers of seizures or migraines or anything else. It’s hard enough. 
 ShayWeasel going to watch Gilmore Girls on Netflix 

 

I was talking with someone, a lovely human named Moriah, the other day about relearning things. And how when you become an adlut you relearn all kinds of things, like how to be who you want to be and weird things like that. I personally am relearning how to be helpful. I can’t clean very much, I can’t give a bunch of money to someone. I can’t watch any children very long. So I’m stuck how am I suppose to help when I need others help so much?!

 

 

 

 

 

I am now understanding I need to learn to be positive, I need to be kind, I need to be grateful. I need to be nice. I need to love my parents, my sisters, my brother, my family and my friends. My job no longer is to work with my body, but its to work with my heart. I need to be someone who is joyful, I need to be open, honest and loving. I need to ask for help. I need to not get mad when things do not go my way. I was put here by the Lord for so many different reasons and one of them is, I need to be kind. I need to show mercy, I need to not get angry when the treatments don’t work or when I don’t feel like I’m being useful.

 

My mom use to tell us when someone wants to do something for you to let them because you are taking a blessing a way from someone if you don’t. I think lately I’ve been taking blesses away from people because I want to be indepent and I can be, but not as much as I have been. Nothing is wrong with needing help. Nothing is wrong with crying. Nothing is wrong with being someone who doesn’t do everything right.

 

I’m learning that my job right now is to let others help me, and for me to show grace, and show how grateful I am. My job is to be positive and be a Pollyanna, be loving and kind. Be merciful to others and not get upset or mad for no reason. My job is to be human, but to be better..

I told myself today as I upset a few people that my emotions are allowed to be felt but the emotions are me are allowed to be upset too. I love my family, I love my friends. I love all the people I get to meet. But I must remember to show love and kindness.

 

I’m relearning what it means to be human, and I believe it might take some time and I do say I’m truly sorry for the people I hurt the most,

 

I have people who are willing to help me, to care for me, and to give there life to care for me. So I must love them. I must be grateful. I must be Godly, I am selfish, and I am rude. But I am relearning the world…. One step that I can’t take alone. I need hands to hold me up, SO one step with help at a time. I’m relearning to be human, to be loving.

 

Thank you very much to Sherri, Stephen (my parents) Stephie, Vana, Sam, Taylor (my sisters) Sean, Matt, Nick, Josh (my brothers) Rory, Wavey (my nieces) Carson (my nephew) Helen, Gale, Terri (my aunts) my friends and for each and every person who prayers for me and my family, and for each person who cares.

 

 

Thank you

 

Shay weasel learns something

 

 

 

What your getting married!!! I’m proud of you for how you’ve held up your life, and I’m proud of you for showing Christ through your whole life and this Godly man seems pretty fantastic. Now I have yet to meet this awesome Man but I will be meeting him this friday.

I also will be seeing you for the first time in 12 years on Friday. I’m going to react some crazy way I’m sure and I’m totally ready.

Now I am totally not married but I want to tell you some weird wisdom from somehow who keeps almost dying. Life isn’t scary, neither is death. Just be ok. Accept everything about Joe, and remember to smile. Agree to disagree you don’t need to be perfect, you are wise you have the Lord on both your sides.

Do fight, do get upset be human, show emotion. Let emotion run through. Now as someone who loves very much I want to always be honest if you don’t like something even this post let the person know.

Don’t hide stuff, don’t blame stuff on anything, but do show emotion. Please show emotion, be happy sad scared angry and weird. Be a dork, be a weird, and totally freak people out.

I’m blessed to know you. I’m amazed by your kindness your strong loving blessing to me way about you. You are like a beautiful bible believing women who is doing great things. you’ve already changed the world by being you. So keep up the good work.

Talk things out, as a couple, as friends, and as a human. Let yourself always be friends with Joe, be a wife, and be yourself. You are no matter what a human a lovely human. So don’t stand in your own way of being anything you want to be.

Take each others gifts and showcase them. Care. Give. Hold. And pray. Pray a lot.

As you and Joe became one about a month ago, you both will stand together forever but you will also stand alone, lean on each other but still hold yourself up. So that if one of you needs to lean fully on the other person you still can.

 

I’ve never been married, so I truly don’t know but I have watched a lot of tv, so same thing……. Not at all..

I love you, I know you love Joe and he is seems to love you. I will stand (most likely will be the only one sitting on stage during it) but in sprit I will be with you no matter what. We had a friendship for 12 years were we didn’t see each other once. So remember that if something happens and somehow you and joe are apart remember its ok, you don’t have to break to heal. You don’t have to be face to face to show God’s grace. You are stronger then you will ever believe and together you guys could rule the world.

I mean I know maybe I sound cheesy but I’d rather let you know that today, tomorrow and whenever, things are going to be weird, confusing hard life is ok. Aannajoh, I’ve known you since you were five, I didn’t give up on your friendship then and I won’t now. I love you.

 

ShayWeasel (Shannon) with love…. And cookies!