I was talking with someone, a lovely human named Moriah, the other day about relearning things. And how when you become an adlut you relearn all kinds of things, like how to be who you want to be and weird things like that. I personally am relearning how to be helpful. I can’t clean very much, I can’t give a bunch of money to someone. I can’t watch any children very long. So I’m stuck how am I suppose to help when I need others help so much?!
I am now understanding I need to learn to be positive, I need to be kind, I need to be grateful. I need to be nice. I need to love my parents, my sisters, my brother, my family and my friends. My job no longer is to work with my body, but its to work with my heart. I need to be someone who is joyful, I need to be open, honest and loving. I need to ask for help. I need to not get mad when things do not go my way. I was put here by the Lord for so many different reasons and one of them is, I need to be kind. I need to show mercy, I need to not get angry when the treatments don’t work or when I don’t feel like I’m being useful.
My mom use to tell us when someone wants to do something for you to let them because you are taking a blessing a way from someone if you don’t. I think lately I’ve been taking blesses away from people because I want to be indepent and I can be, but not as much as I have been. Nothing is wrong with needing help. Nothing is wrong with crying. Nothing is wrong with being someone who doesn’t do everything right.
I’m learning that my job right now is to let others help me, and for me to show grace, and show how grateful I am. My job is to be positive and be a Pollyanna, be loving and kind. Be merciful to others and not get upset or mad for no reason. My job is to be human, but to be better..
I told myself today as I upset a few people that my emotions are allowed to be felt but the emotions are me are allowed to be upset too. I love my family, I love my friends. I love all the people I get to meet. But I must remember to show love and kindness.
I’m relearning what it means to be human, and I believe it might take some time and I do say I’m truly sorry for the people I hurt the most,
I have people who are willing to help me, to care for me, and to give there life to care for me. So I must love them. I must be grateful. I must be Godly, I am selfish, and I am rude. But I am relearning the world…. One step that I can’t take alone. I need hands to hold me up, SO one step with help at a time. I’m relearning to be human, to be loving.
Thank you very much to Sherri, Stephen (my parents) Stephie, Vana, Sam, Taylor (my sisters) Sean, Matt, Nick, Josh (my brothers) Rory, Wavey (my nieces) Carson (my nephew) Helen, Gale, Terri (my aunts) my friends and for each and every person who prayers for me and my family, and for each person who cares.
Shay weasel learns something