When I was younger I was a hyper child, this one story my mom likes to tell people is about.. We had this song and in the song it says walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, in my brain I couldn’t understand why or who would want to put on another person’s shoes and walk, my mom would use this as an explain for years to tell people how I thought, I at first thought my mom told this story because she was annoyed by it, but then I learned it was because my mom loved the way I thought..

My mom wasn’t perfect she made mistakes, but when she would kiss me on the head and wait for me to hug her, I know my mom loves me. I know she would do anything for me. I love her, I don’t and didn’t always show it growing up.

When I was 10 years old, we went to this homeschool group on Fridays and I was having to switch teachers because of my normal teacher had her baby earlier, so I went to class unknowing of this change, and my mind didn’t like seeing the new teacher there, I got really nervous and tried to calm myself down but nothing worked and I slowly got worse, as I sat in my normal seat all I wanted was my mom.

So I told the teacher I needed to go and she let me. I went to where my mom was, I was crying and I was scared, I couldn’t find my mom at first which made me worse, when I found her she pulled me close and she didn’t yell at me she didn’t tell me I was stupid for being upset she just held me.

She never asked me what was wrong she knew. She never told me to calm myself down she knew I was trying. She asked “What do you need?” I told her I needed something to eat, my mom got me a cookie she somehow had, and we stayed in this room and she let me calm down. She sang me a song and she told me “Baby its okay to get upset, I love you anytime.” I remember this because it was the first time in my life I knew for a fact that my mom didn’t care that I was different.

She didn’t care that my brain was so different that even I knew not what it was doing she loved me all of me. She loved my differences she loved me. I wasn’t Shay the person who had panic attacks I was Shay who loved life. I was her baby, I still am, I mean I am the youngest so sadly no matter what I do I’m going to be her baby.

When you grow up with a difference you learn that whats different about you is okay, that its okay to be different and that the world is going to tell you that you need to be more like everyone else, but I remember and remind myself all the time that my mom she will love me for not be like everyone else, that my mom doesn’t love me in spite of my differences, but she loves me as a whole, she loves everything about me.

I’m sure raising me was hard, and I’m sure all the times I said mean things and felt like no one understood (because no one truly can) she loved me, she cared for me, she wanted me to be her child.

So this has been my Mothers Day post on Sunday my day of randomness….

Thanks to Sherri Trussell for raising me and teaching me to write, so I can now write this post to you! Love you mom!!

Shayweaseling it!! 

So Irish soda bread is one of my favorite breads, it didn’t use to be, but I’ve really liked it lately, so I make it and then put it with soup, I really enjoying making it.

I have this memory of me and my grandma Rosa making Irish soda bread, she told me a story about her childhood and she kissed me on my forehead, I loved my time with her she was sweet and kind. She past away this past year, and I’ve missed her.

So when I make this bread I think of her and it makes me happy, so here is the recipe!

Irish Soda Bread (made gluten-free and dairy-free)

ingredients

2 teaspoons Baking Soda

4 cups flour (I used oatmeal and millet flour)

1 teaspoon Sea Salt

1 cup almond milk (any milk will do)

¾ almond yogurt (any yogurt will work)

1. preheat oven to 425 degrees grease and flour the pan I used just a cake pan.
2. in a large bowl mix flour salt and baking soda together
3. Slowly add the milk and yogurt to the flour mix till it’s sticky ball.
4. turn dough onto floured surface and knead gently a few times
5. form a dough into ball then put in pan and press slightly till it resembles a large disk. the should reach the edge of the pan but may spring back.
6. Cut an X on the top of the dough about like ¼ deep.
7. Bake for 30 minutes till its golden brown. Mine took 45 minutes.
8. Then let cool for 10 minutes before removing from pan
9. Then enjoy!

I hope you guys get some fantastic irish soda bread, which is  heavy bread but its great for soups and chili. Do note that irish soda bread can be very chewy sometimes but it’s okay.

Well everyone have a fantastically weekend!! And Shay-De Foodie Friday!!

Shayweaseling it!

I have wrote this post twice, but something was off about it. So I rewrote it, because I think I was talking to the wrong person.

I was at Target when I stood behind this lady and her daughter, her daughter was bouncing and she was talking to me, she seemed hyper but not to much out of the ordinary. Her mom then said sorry, she said sorry and that her daughter was autistic.

This hit me. It hurt my heart, not because the little girl was autistic but because her mom was saying sorry, now when I first started writing this, I was talking to the mom, but I want to write this to the little girl.

  You are awesome, what you are doing, this hyperness is awesome, find ways to use this hyperness for something you really want or need. I use mine to clean and to write things. Don’t find one passion find a bunch of them, make them all across the board, and be random. You aren’t a mistakes you are a fantastically strange human but that’s a good thing, we need you in this world to make it better. Now you might be asking me why are you telling me all this? And how do you know?

  I have the answers to these questions, I’m like you, in a weird way we are alike. In a way some people see as a writing off as something I see as a cool way to look at a tree. I like trees I take photos of planets and I love things that move, so anything. I’m autistic, like you. I have a disorder in my brain that for some reason makes me different from the rest of the world. Now your mom she is doing her best, but she is just saying sorry because she doesn’t know that you understand her, but I saw your eyes, you got it. And I know if you are like me you’re going to go over that moment and try to see what you did wrong and when you can’t find out what you did wrong you will cry.

   You didn’t do anything wrong, your brain is just different but your fantastic, because you can think differently and because you do things in different ways you can change the world, you will and can. Just keep trying don’t give up on yourself.

   I know people will look at you weird, and when you have an overload of emotions or what some see as a panic attack, just let it come. Get it out, cry and scream, and let it be. Possibly try to do it in the bathroom, but let the emotions happen. Let yourself feel the emotion.   

  Your parents and family they won’t always understand you, but try not to let that bother you, let yourself be okay with no one understanding you all the time. But be okay, with you understanding yourself, try and find what makes you happy, what you’re passionate about..

  I love taking photos, and I love older people and children, I like the color purple, but don’t wear it a lot. I love things and I hate things. I have a list in my head. You will be okay, this isn’t the end.

  When people talk like you’re not there just act like they are talking about a panda who lives on the moon, and believe me people will talk like you aren’t there, be happy with yourself.

 I personally like to tell myself that no matter what I can’t do anything to change the way I am, so I like to accept who I am, and embrace it.

  Don’t let everyone tell you how weird you are or how they can cure you. I promise things will get hard, but that’s okay, keep pressing on. Keep going you are fantastically you are funny and you make everything better.

 I know as someone who has read all kinds of things about life and about disease, things are great, So this was suppose to be Shay-De Foodie Friday it will be up later, I promise I just thought this was more important.

Shayweasel out!