epilepsy seizures

You don’t want to go to the ER in general. You don’t want to be here. But somehow you ended up here.

There are a bunch of people in the waiting room. All waiting for help. I’m just the one sitting off to the side.

An elderly lady checks in and sits in the waiting room chair. And within five minutes she’s taken back. And sadly I know a lot abii ok it that.

I almost feel guilty that I’m so glad I’m not the first in line. I’m glad I’m just here for something simple. Here for something fast. I’m so glad they know how to act so fast.

When your the first in line. In the er it doesn’t mean they like you more. It’s not a privilege to go that fast. It’s a burden and a scary act.

It means your not doing good. That somethings really wrong it means that you need help bad. Right now. I’m not the first in line because I’m not doing bad.

I’ve been brought into the ER like that. I’ve seen them work real fast. I’ve been scared and quiet. Praying for this to be all right.

So go that little old lady I pray whoever brought you is fixed or at least they help you some how.

You might never get better or maybe it’s not like that. I just hope you don’t feel bad. That you went back before everyone else has.

And to the other people the one who has been mean. The ones who see this and almost show jealous I hope they find out why they should be glad. That they aren’t the first in line.

Shayweasel is glad to not be first

Here’s the thing when I typed “how to handle having a caregiver” into google I thought that it was gonna say things like letting someone helping you doesn’t mean your not an adult or they aren’t babysitting you and that this is needed those kinds of things but no this is what I found…

The articles none of them were pointed at the person who was sick, I find it so hard to have a caregiver to let someone help me.

I’m an adult and have to have someone come here and watch me?

As of 2018 I’ve become someone who has a caretaker, and a respite care worker. Two people that watch me most of the time. I don’t always know how to handle being cared for.

From the time your born you learn how to be independent. We learn to make sure to cry when we need something, we learn that being nice and smiling can help. That we learn to crawl to get something our selfs. We learn to walk so we can do things on our own.

We go to school so we can learn we do chores so we can be able to clean our homes when we are adults.

We learn to go use the to shower how to cook how to drive so we can do things all by ourselves.

As I get the blessing of living longer and longer I’ve been needing more and more help.

My respit caregiver is kind, and she helps me by really truly is here by just being here. With the diseases I have, it can change fast. I could hurt myself if I had a seizure if I had a a reaction. And so on so on.

I am learning to find this as a way for me to help someone have a job, to know this is ok

I’m learning to look at independence differently. To know I’m still an adult. I still need help but it doesn’t mean I’m lazy.

So how to have a caregiver- be kind, tell them if you need something even if you could possibly do it yourself but you know you shouldn’t, tell them thank you and be kind to them, if they make you feel uncomfortable say something to either them or the other people in your life. Think about them like the nurse on Monk solving crimes and someone walks around and helps him he’s still an adult. (We all know Natalie on Monk was way better then the first)

It’s not lazy. It’s not crazy.

Be kind be good be love

Shayweasel is sitting down

Shayweasel

Continuous Stream of Consciousness

I hope your not the first in line