Are you a their friend or a there friend?

AnnaJoh and Me

Friendship has always been important to me. Majorly important! I have always seen my relationship with God as a friendship so in my mind I always thought friendships with anyone was the most important relationship someone can have.

Now I’m not saying relationship of the romantic type or relationship with family isn’t important because friendship with your family and spouse is possible. And a lot of time that’s how it is. Some of my family and extended family are my best friends!

But no I’m saying friendships in my mind how I see them is a relationship that you don’t have to be in you don’t get anything physical per-say. Friendships are sometimes harder to lose then anything else. When you are a friend you have to understand how important that friend is and how much you want them to know that you care.

My Aunt Helen and me

Some people are a there friend. a friend who is only really your friend when they are physically with you. When they either don’t really make to much time for you. They don’t go out of their way to hang out but when they are with you at that moment they are a good friend. But as soon as y’all are apart they don’t ask how you are or they don’t text or call you they don’t really want to hang out unless you ask them. They don’t go out of their way to be friends unless they don’t have plans or there isn’t much to do or if they just want something from you.

That’s a there friends. When they are there they are awesome when they aren’t they don’t really care.

Dara and me

I have a lot of experience with having friends who are there friends. I was always the one doing the work of having friendships. I was the one who called. The one who asked how they were. The one who was worried about them. And want them to know I was there.

But they didn’t want to be there back. The work is one sided. A lot of time. And truly most of the time a there friend doesn’t know they are one. Sometimes when you don’t have to do any of the work you don’t try as hard. You know that person will forgive you. So why try? It won’t matter anyway? And sometimes the there friend is just busy. Just not paying attention. Or they are going though something. Something they don’t want to talk about.

Sometimes they aren’t trying to be either type of friend. Some people go back and fourth with being a their friend and a there friend.

Now then you have a their friend. This is the friendship when it’s both people being friends. Them working with you. These are the friends who you can call when your mad and they will be upset with you. These are the ones who I call them and they call you. Where they text you friends and you text them first sometimes and other times they text you first. The ones who writing them calling them laughing with them is easy. It’s comfort. These are the ones who support you.

These are the friendships people should always be lucky to have!!

And that not everyone gets.

I’m one of the lucky few. But most of my friends don’t live near me. Our friendship is solely based online or on the phone or threw letters and things through the mail.

Rory and me

In someways moving far away from my best friends as a child helped me became a better friend! Because I learned quickly how to be a friend from really far away.

I was pen pals with my friend AnnaJoh! Who even after not seeing each other for 12 years asked me to be in her wedding and when we saw each other it wasn’t awkward it was pure “bliss” [side note AnnaJohs last name now that she is married is ‘bliss’ ]

I had friends I knew who were from or lived all over the world. I had friends in places like France, Africa, New Zealand, Hawaii , China, Korea and more

Jazzy, Rory and me!

And because of that as I aged and didn’t have friends near by I was ok with having friends far away.

So When I started getting worse health wise I started having friends I met online more and a few of them I still haven’t met in person yet! But they are some of my best friends I’ve ever known.

Their friends are the ones who call when they haven’t heard from you. The ones who text your phone when your in a coma because they know you will wake up. And they want to make sure you know how hard it was to not be able to talk to them.

The ones who call or write your family or other people when you aren’t responding to make sure you are ok. Who send you weird things by text mail or social media without fear of judgement or worry. Who know how hard it is to get sad news and they know just how to cheer you up.

I haven’t got to meet Macy and Addie in person we’ve been friends for over five years!

They are the ones who care. And you pray you’ll never lose them. Because I’m lucky to be their friend! You are lucky if you have their friends because you can either be a there friend or you can be a their friend! And sometimes you can start off as one and switch to the other. And the ones who switch from a their friend to a there friend those are the ones who hurt the most sometimes.

A there friend has the power to make someone feel like the worst person in the world. Like nothing they do can make a friendship better. They have a scary power.

But a their friend they have the power to make someone laugh at inappropriate times. To smile when they are dying. To be kind. To show grace. To became a better person. To be scared but yet feel calm. To feel loved. To feel like you matter. That your a good beautiful person. A their friend is a beautifully wonderful love.

JoJo and me

A Their friend is important because their stronger together. Their making each other better. Their working to help and not hurt. Their friends run around a store with you when you’re acting insanely weird but they join you instead of making fun of you. Their friends are good together.

So are you a there friend? Or a their friend?

Try to make sure you know the power you hold. Because you have power no matter what..

Shayweasel is trying to always be a their friend…

My friends might be weird but that’s what I love about them!

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