My disease could kill me…. But I’m not trying to kill my disease

Cancer you kill it that’s how you do it…. You kill the cancer cells….

Me? I’m having to learn to live with my body that isn’t broken just needs to have some stuff done to it so I can live…

I’m not trying to kill my disease if I did that I’d kill my

Own liver… Or lungs…

No I’m not fighting my disease in

Just fighting to live…. But my disease isn’t going to kill me… My body is…

Dying is a side effect of my disease one day… Anaphylactic shock will happen… Maybe that’s how I will die or maybe my organs will fail me…

But one thing is really true I’m not going to die because I didn’t fight I’m most likely going to die because my body fights and attacks everything

I personally think my body is Amish and just believes all worldly things are horridly evil…

Sadly my body will fight till the death but somehow I need to explain to my body that the air isn’t trying to kill you.. Also peanuts aren’t horribly scary body if you could just calm down when someone in the room opens a bag that would be great….

I’m not in a battle with my diseases I’m living with my diseases…. I have an unwanted house guest but they are nice sometimes… sometimes they bring me good friends over and I meet cool people because of it…

So when people tell me I’m gonna get through this.. I’m not getting through anything… I’m living with things.. When you tell me get well soon or that I’ll get better…

I might not get better… My body will most likely get slowly worse unless a treatment gets found for my disease, or if maybe someone finds a way to cure me. One of the diseases I have at the moment has no treatment… None there is some things they do but no treatment.. No drugs… Nothing… I felt like the doctors stand before you and go “I got nothing..”

So don’t tell me I’m gonna get through this.. Because getting through something means that at some point it ends.. But a cure isn’t something that’s going to happen for me… Unless something big changes..

I’ll always be sick.. Its just a matter of how sick..

I’m not fighting with my body, I’m living inside a body that is in a weird way fighting the world… Mostly food… It attacks a lot of food…

But when you tell me that i’m going to be okay and that you hope I get better soon.. I just want you to understand that I might not. I might be sick forever. This is my reality.. I’m living with chronic illnesses… I’m not fighting them..

Thanks for reading…
Shayweaseling it…