how to handle stress

living with your parents.. as an adult

/ Shannon DeRose / 1 Comment
This is pigacorn.. my papa enjoys setting her up around the house in places like this….

I obviously live with my parents! In 2016 my parents and myself decided to move in to a small townhouse in Beaufort. We moved together. I had been living in va beach and they had been living in Raleigh area.

I have to say the first year was hard. Understanding what each of us wanted and needed for and from each other. And how we worked and figuring it all out.

I was not doing anywhere near good health wise and neither where they and we didn’t have much money. And didn’t know what was happening or going to happen.

But we finally figure each other out mostly. And since then it’s gotten easy we figure how what to do what to say and what not to and it’s funnier then ever and we still have days where it’s hard. But mostly it’s good! Funny silly sweet and over all very very random!!

but here are 13 weird things about living with your parents…. As an adult!

13.

You start to truly notice the what your parents react to your other family members by friends by anyone. You see when they get hurt by others especially other family. And learn how to make them feel better!

12.

You know weirdly personal things about each other.…

11.

You start to know all of the times they take their meds and knowing every med they take. and knowing the way they act when they don’t take their meds and the way they act when they are taking them.

10.

You start to figure out if they are in pain without them every saying they are.

You also know how to relieve some pain from them if it’s just rubbing their back, watching something funny. Or just Not talking to them or just giving them a cookie whatever it is you know what you need or don’t need to do.

But you don’t always know…

9.

You know what they need help with and what they don’t want help with. And what they need help with but don’t want help with…

8.

I have some of the most random conversations with my parents. The other day me my mom and my papa had a long conversation about what the difference is in horror movies and scary movies or my mom and I having a long conversation about walkers in the walking dead changing over the course of the show.

7.

You know every tv show, movies, downton abbey, series they like and don’t like. And you know shows we watch together and shows we watch apart. And shows we watch when there is only two of us and on so.

And what things you like to do. Like for my papa studying the Bible and studying to teach different classes he teaches. going to talk to people. Watching tv being funny playing with the dogs!

For my mom it’s things like playing the piano. Singing, Cleaning and pricing the jewelry for the thrift store. Watching tv listening to music. Studying the Bible And talking to people watching the adorable tiny humans!

6.

You learn to look at all the scars of all the things they’ve gone through over the years. All the times you’ve hurt and they’ve hurt and come to realize how and why they do things. And how strong they are to be able to handle it all with such grace!

5.

You know when they are upset sad angry but not always sure what who or why they are upset or angry.

But you know ways to make it better. You learn ways to know how to see them listen to them. Or leave them alone. You still get it wrong sometimes but you try.

4.

Y’all can talk without saying anything… you just know… by looking at each other.

The other day while my mom was talking to someone. My papa and I without saying anything figured out if my mom took her meds and which one she forgot… we are weird sometimes.

You know them because you love them

3.

You know they are your parents but they slowly become like your friends in the weirdest way. You know how to talk to each other.

We have jokes and random things we say to each other. We laugh we cry we enjoy our random things..

If someone drops or makes a random loud noise or whatever we asks each other “are you ok?” Because when all three of us could fall and have fallen and got hurt. You wanna make sure.

My papa’s way of not way of doing the dishes if you can’t get into the dish then there are no dishes to be washed…

2.

You become comfortable with each other! You don’t feel weird or awkward at all around each other. You know how to make each other laugh. You have inside Jokes.

And do random things to make each other laugh or tease each other. Like my papa and my self like to take random little figurines or toys type things and put them in weird places all over the house! Rory loved this and always laughs and has fun when she comes!

We have quotes from movies, tv shows, random things we’ve said. Random things children around us have said! Like

Us to Eden a one year old we watch

“What’s the magic word?” – Meme

“Mine!” – Eden……

1.

You truly see them at their best. Their worse. You truly see how strong they are mentally, physically, emotionally, and more then any of them how strong they are spiritually!

I have more respect, love and amazement for my parents then i ever have! Daily I see them overcome things. See them be a shining light in so many peoples life. I see how much their simple things they don’t think are a big. How much of a big deal it is to so many.

I see the hours they put in to do all they. I see their struggles in ways I never have. I see them be brave. I see them be silly! I see them enjoy the simple things.

If it’s just sitting on the sofa and watching the nanny or the walking dead or random other shows! They have joy and find joy in so many things. So many different things. They are amazingly fabulous! But they find the biggest joy they find in the Lord.

Now it’s not always easy but it’s not always hard. It’s not always funny (but honestly most of the time it is!) but above all that it’s always full of love!

Shayweasel and her parents live together..

Feeding tube awareness

/ Shannon DeRose / Leave a comment

Feeding tube awareness is important. O have a feeding tube. I’ve had them on and off for the past few years.

I have had NJ tubes which go into your nose and to your small intestines and right now I have PEGJ tube which goes into my small intestines.

Every day I wake up and make my feeding tube forumla the kind I use is called real food blends. I put it in a blender with water. I then strain it into a bowl then wash the strainer off and the blender then I strain it into the blender again then I wash the strainer off and bowl off and then strain it back into the bowl and then wash the blender off and strainer and strain it into the blender I then get my feeding tube bags that I use and put the mixed strained real food blends into the bag. I close the bag turn the bag upside down and put my fingers on the blue longer part of the bag and squeeze lightly to get the air out of the bag and then prime the line that will connected to my feeding tube the one that goes into my PEGJ that hangs outside my stomach.

It takes lots of work but I would be doing this even if I was eating. I do this sometimes 3 times a day depending on what my body handles a day.

I’m thankful for this that saves my life

Shayweasel out

realizing Relief Requires Relaying

/ Shannon DeRose / Leave a comment

I don’t like seeing others in pain. I don’t want anyone to ever have a battle in life even through we all do. I don’t want anyone to go through anything like I have. So when life gets scary I want to hold tight to my friends and let them know I’m here.

The thing is I’m not physically close to most of my friends. I see them lose there freedom. And then every time I see God.

I lived in Seaboard a small town with lots of people over 60… a lot of them little old ladies! I loved them all!! As I lived there my papa started taking me with him on his visits to their houses or hospital or nursing home. The longer we were there the more my heart fall in love with going to visit people.

I started riding my bike and going to there house sometimes sitting on the porch talking to them. They were always so kind.

I believe in God, I beleive He knew how to make my life. You can find the lines He put in place for me to be here!

I didn’t have a lot of friends my age but I got good at being pen pals at sitting in waiting rooms with family as they waited for their loved ones. I got good at asking questions so I could keep someone talking. I got good at being around pumps, wires helping cool weird foods and being kind listening and not getting annoyed when someone would tell me the same thing ten times. I felt calm. I learned how people are people no matter what we see. Leo Boone was a man who was paralyzed from the neck down. He was always smiling.

I learned animals are amazing at making people connect sometimes. It’s not that I didn’t already know these things I just learned more about them.

When I was in the hospital even if it was for me or someone else I didn’t mind I had done this before. People always told me I’d make a great nurse I normally told them thank you. Deep down I knew I felt something I needed to be.. and medical was involved.

My friends have health problems, my family does too. I learned and owe more to how God set my life up then any thing I can imagine.

I didn’t want to relay on anyone but truthful I have too. The person I have to relay on that each of us has to relay on is God.

People sometimes act as is you are stronger when you don’t replay on others. And truly it is you are stronger when you relay on others.

You will never be able to find relief without Realizing that it Requires relating on others. Everyone needs to be able to have others relay on them and others to relay on its a balance.

Shayweasel realizing Relief Requires Relaying

Death by Autism

/ Shannon DeRose / Leave a comment

Life threatening …..

I have had so many different times not be able to get help or to understand what to fear where danger is or was and what to do.11th birthday party in 2003

I’ve always been around “different”

Walking alone at night seemed simple no one else was around so I thought it was safer I don’t like seeing a lot of people at once so the quiet of night seemed better.

In 2015 I woke up from a coma and the doctors all said I was faking the seizures that put me in a coma in the first place. I was in a coma. I don’t know how I faked that you never know… I guess but the reason they said it was because I woke up from seizures to fast, I knew to much about seizures comas feeding tubes central lines and medical things. I was seeeking attention they said.

Well I’m autistic I can tell you about a lot of things I don’t even care to know about but I don’t forget facts if I hear it normally I’ll remember random things.

I have a very high level of brain activing going on at all times. I’ve been this way most of my life, I stare off and can answer what you said all the sudden even if I had a seizure but here is why I have high brain activing

I didn’t know I was being so different

During an eeg I had for about 3 days I was shown to be having a 5-30 second seizure every few minutes.. so truly if you think about it I came to fast from a seizures because I’m normally having a seizure so my personality is basically me seizing so my normal is not normal.

I was talking fasting and just kept talking for 40 minutes my dr saw on the eeg I was having a seizure for 40 minutes non stop I was aware but I wasn’t in control.

In June of 2017 I was put into the icu after I had had a mini stroke, I was freaking out crying to my parents not because I had a mini stroke no I was horrified that the hospital was going to let me die. Because I’ve come so close before.

It’s never been easy but it’s never been harder to have doctors nurses medical staff to act like I’m in there way. Like I don’t matter. I fear one day I’ll end up in the ER and the doctors let me die.

Right now I’m not as scared as I use to be. The doctors I have right now have saved me instead of pushing me out the door to another doctor. None of them blamed my autism like many had over and over again. No they all worked hard to figure out what to do. I notice a lot that’s part of my problem it’s what my autism does for me.

My Neuro doctor never once said let’s see if this is autism no he said ok let’s get some Medicines do test do scans it all…

They found more then they knew they would. This year 2017 I have had about 4/5 seizures. I’ve had about five EEGs. A lot of procures and things.

The doctors kept trying and they did a good job.

I have a VNS in my chest which is a device that sends pulse into my brain to help calm my seizures or stop them all together.

I have a feeding tube in my stomach that goes into my small intestines.

A picc line in my arm for Medicines fluids transfusions blood all fun things..

But you know what? None of them took away my autism and that’s ok I know for sure that I took away the doctors power of my autism. It is not what they are allowed to blame. I am autistic. But I also have epilepsy, Ehlers–Danlos syndrome, eosinophilic esophagitis, heart defect, mast cell activation syndrome, MDS a blood disorder, asthma and more…

Shayweasel is still autistic!

Why weekends are hard…

/ Shannon DeRose / 2 Comments

I hate mondays Fridays, I know what? Shay? How can you hate the weekend they are fantastic. One let me say I haven’t always hated them. And I still hate Thursdays more than I hate Fridays but for me I hate the idea of the weekend, that you have to go out and hang out with friends or if you don’t have plans then you are just going to die alone or become a cat lady.

I mean its not a big deal. I have been a nanny and my idea of a friday night was the parets going out and me making like 100 dollars thats my idea of Friday for a long time and when I wasn’t working I would sit in my living room watching TV shows or movies or I would be on tumblr for like nine hours.

So I don’t get where this you have to be busy on the weekend sleep in and go out and party or go to church on sunday. I don’t get it. I want to do what I do on a normal day. To me the weekend ends up normally being really boring and I don’t enjoy it because everyone is saying “Oh my I’m doing blah blah..” I mean even if I had a lot of friends who wanted to do stuff the weekend wouldn’t be when I wanted to hang out it would most likely be a random day.

But I want to say since my chronic illness kicked in over drive, the weekends end up being really hard on me. I feel like I am missing out on a part of live that I never knew I needed but I don’t need it. You might be someone in school or work the weekdays and when you get a free day its like fantasticness but to me it sometimes end up making me sad because I’m like I don’t have energy to do anything and its not going to change just because its the weekend sometimes I have good days but they are normally on a weird day like Tuesday and I get to make breakfast and go to the store, but my body doesn’t know that its the weekend. It does what it wants to.

So why am I telling you all this? Because I know that people with chronic illnesses might feel the same way, so if you know someone who has a chronic illness go over and watch a movie with them and don’t try and make them talk to much or anything just let them be but be there with them. It means a lot when you get a friend who can sit in the same room on their laptop as you and not talk but will say something like did you see this?

Or when we need to rant about shit you listen. Its hard because we might seem whiny but it really is that some of us aren’t around people. Don’t talk to people, and a lot of us don’t get to see very many people at all or only talk to people online.

The weekends are hard because its not just we can’t get out its that no one wants to stay in and no one wants to hang out with you.

When you are diagnosed with a chronic illness you normally lose half your friends right off the bat and it kills small parts of you. So yes, if you want to help make weekends better then just be there and say what’s on your mind.

My name is ShayWeasel and this has been a weirdish public blog post…

#spooniestrong #weekendssuck #fuckit