Feeding tube awareness

Feeding tube awareness is important. O have a feeding tube. I’ve had them on and off for the past few years.

I have had NJ tubes which go into your nose and to your small intestines and right now I have PEGJ tube which goes into my small intestines.

Every day I wake up and make my feeding tube forumla the kind I use is called real food blends. I put it in a blender with water. I then strain it into a bowl then wash the strainer off and the blender then I strain it into the blender again then I wash the strainer off and bowl off and then strain it back into the bowl and then wash the blender off and strainer and strain it into the blender I then get my feeding tube bags that I use and put the mixed strained real food blends into the bag. I close the bag turn the bag upside down and put my fingers on the blue longer part of the bag and squeeze lightly to get the air out of the bag and then prime the line that will connected to my feeding tube the one that goes into my PEGJ that hangs outside my stomach.

It takes lots of work but I would be doing this even if I was eating. I do this sometimes 3 times a day depending on what my body handles a day.

I’m thankful for this that saves my life

Shayweasel out

realizing Relief Requires Relaying

I don’t like seeing others in pain. I don’t want anyone to ever have a battle in life even through we all do. I don’t want anyone to go through anything like I have. So when life gets scary I want to hold tight to my friends and let them know I’m here.

The thing is I’m not physically close to most of my friends. I see them lose there freedom. And then every time I see God.

I lived in Seaboard a small town with lots of people over 60… a lot of them little old ladies! I loved them all!! As I lived there my papa started taking me with him on his visits to their houses or hospital or nursing home. The longer we were there the more my heart fall in love with going to visit people.

I started riding my bike and going to there house sometimes sitting on the porch talking to them. They were always so kind.

I believe in God, I beleive He knew how to make my life. You can find the lines He put in place for me to be here!

I didn’t have a lot of friends my age but I got good at being pen pals at sitting in waiting rooms with family as they waited for their loved ones. I got good at asking questions so I could keep someone talking. I got good at being around pumps, wires helping cool weird foods and being kind listening and not getting annoyed when someone would tell me the same thing ten times. I felt calm. I learned how people are people no matter what we see. Leo Boone was a man who was paralyzed from the neck down. He was always smiling.

I learned animals are amazing at making people connect sometimes. It’s not that I didn’t already know these things I just learned more about them.

When I was in the hospital even if it was for me or someone else I didn’t mind I had done this before. People always told me I’d make a great nurse I normally told them thank you. Deep down I knew I felt something I needed to be.. and medical was involved.

My friends have health problems, my family does too. I learned and owe more to how God set my life up then any thing I can imagine.

I didn’t want to relay on anyone but truthful I have too. The person I have to relay on that each of us has to relay on is God.

People sometimes act as is you are stronger when you don’t replay on others. And truly it is you are stronger when you relay on others.

You will never be able to find relief without Realizing that it Requires relating on others. Everyone needs to be able to have others relay on them and others to relay on its a balance.

Shayweasel realizing Relief Requires Relaying

The Way Of The Left…


The road isn’t easy when the road was never really paved.. I personally never walked there on that road… Its not that I didn’t want to walk there it’s just that I walked in the way of the left..

The way of the left wasn’t well. Right so therefore no one knew how to take it..

The road you my papa, have had to take has never been easy, from broken bones to hurt legs to hurt hearts to hurt arms.. You stood weak and strong. Your brain works in the way of the left but you wanted to be in the way of the right.. So you walked in the way of the right you tried to be the same as what you saw something I never did.

You stood up and spoke when needed to and held your breath when things happen and when we begged you to breath you breathed in deep. And when your soul begin to wonder we didn’t even blink because papa we know you. You make living look beautifully you make things understandable. You don’t always speak from the heart but always with your heart. You hold dear how you see things..


You have struggled so hard in the way of the right your walking lately has been tough since the doctors told you that your body is failing you, but my papa please don’t fail your body you’re stronger then that.. .But the way of the right has been so hard on you. Telling you that your emotions are silly or unacceptable..

Papa… I have an offer to make you… And I promise you that this offer is once in a lifetime… WIll you come over… To the way of the left? Will you come and start seeing things like me? And will you accepted that papa the way of the right maybe isn’t perfectly fit for you..

Maybe if you come to the left you can start standing up for the way of the left people to the way of the right people? Maybe you could give a point of view people haven’t seen.. Maybe just maybe you could show people that there emotions are as acceptable as can be… Maybe you could come over and see like me..

Because papa when I see you.. I don’t see a man who doesn’t fit in or a man who is sick no.. I see a strong warrior who loves music and can read a book in a day, I see a strong pastor who can explain the bible in ways I’ve never seen and I mean that in a fantastic way. I see a man who is an amazingly fantastic papa and an amazingly wonderful papa to his grandchildren as well.. I see a fisherman who loves the world in a way that is more awesomely gorgeous then one knew they could be. I see a stronger man than people even know. I see a warrior who has been hurt by words but papa I see a strange little smile when you believe in me. I see someone who never doubts me. I see someone who loves his family. I see someone who is so beautifully strong that I don’t know how you do it,…

So papa will you come over to the way of the left? Will you step out of your way of the right thinking and start seeing trees from above and seeing birds from afar and watching the moon through a photo lens and when you hear a sound start wondering what it is will you not get better but get more awesome will you live in a way that makes life seem like everyone is panda when they are talking about you… Will you think in the way of the left?

If you don’t accept.. I will fully understand some people can’t handle walking the way of the left, we sometimes forget we are in a race and we slow down and we don’t smell the roses because they have bees but instead we walk off the path and we find a strange bird and we start to talk to it. We follow yellow brick roads to nowhere. We enjoy barefeet and we enjoy simple things.. We don’t walk fast because we aren’t going anywhere we are just thinking.. Breathing living….. We aren’t in a fast pace world.. The way of the left is something you get throw into….. I don’t try fast I try strong. I don’t try hard I try soft.. I don’t give up.. I just get stronger…..


Happy Fathers Day, Papa, may the world never be your stomping ground but instead be a place of peace and joy as everything goes fast remember the way of the left….. Isn’t waiting for you.. We are all off in our little worlds.. But you can join my little world… But don’t leave it…

I love you….

Shayweasel out..