living with your parents.. as an adult

November 21, 2022December 13, 2022 / Shannon DeRose / 1 Comment

This is pigacorn.. my papa enjoys setting her up around the house in places like this….

I obviously live with my parents! In 2016 my parents and myself decided to move in to a small townhouse in Beaufort. We moved together. I had been living in va beach and they had been living in Raleigh area.

I have to say the first year was hard. Understanding what each of us wanted and needed for and from each other. And how we worked and figuring it all out.

I was not doing anywhere near good health wise and neither where they and we didn’t have much money. And didn’t know what was happening or going to happen.

But we finally figure each other out mostly. And since then it’s gotten easy we figure how what to do what to say and what not to and it’s funnier then ever and we still have days where it’s hard. But mostly it’s good! Funny silly sweet and over all very very random!!

but here are 13 weird things about living with your parents…. As an adult!

13.

You start to truly notice the what your parents react to your other family members by friends by anyone. You see when they get hurt by others especially other family. And learn how to make them feel better!

12.

You know weirdly personal things about each other.…

11.

You start to know all of the times they take their meds and knowing every med they take. and knowing the way they act when they don’t take their meds and the way they act when they are taking them.

10.

You start to figure out if they are in pain without them every saying they are.

You also know how to relieve some pain from them if it’s just rubbing their back, watching something funny. Or just Not talking to them or just giving them a cookie whatever it is you know what you need or don’t need to do.

But you don’t always know…

You know what they need help with and what they don’t want help with. And what they need help with but don’t want help with…

I have some of the most random conversations with my parents. The other day me my mom and my papa had a long conversation about what the difference is in horror movies and scary movies or my mom and I having a long conversation about walkers in the walking dead changing over the course of the show.

You know every tv show, movies, downton abbey, series they like and don’t like. And you know shows we watch together and shows we watch apart. And shows we watch when there is only two of us and on so.

And what things you like to do. Like for my papa studying the Bible and studying to teach different classes he teaches. going to talk to people. Watching tv being funny playing with the dogs!

For my mom it’s things like playing the piano. Singing, Cleaning and pricing the jewelry for the thrift store. Watching tv listening to music. Studying the Bible And talking to people watching the adorable tiny humans!

You learn to look at all the scars of all the things they’ve gone through over the years. All the times you’ve hurt and they’ve hurt and come to realize how and why they do things. And how strong they are to be able to handle it all with such grace!

You know when they are upset sad angry but not always sure what who or why they are upset or angry.

But you know ways to make it better. You learn ways to know how to see them listen to them. Or leave them alone. You still get it wrong sometimes but you try.

Y’all can talk without saying anything… you just know… by looking at each other.

The other day while my mom was talking to someone. My papa and I without saying anything figured out if my mom took her meds and which one she forgot… we are weird sometimes.

You know they are your parents but they slowly become like your friends in the weirdest way. You know how to talk to each other.

We have jokes and random things we say to each other. We laugh we cry we enjoy our random things..

If someone drops or makes a random loud noise or whatever we asks each other “are you ok?” Because when all three of us could fall and have fallen and got hurt. You wanna make sure.

My papa’s way of not way of doing the dishes if you can’t get into the dish then there are no dishes to be washed…

You become comfortable with each other! You don’t feel weird or awkward at all around each other. You know how to make each other laugh. You have inside Jokes.

And do random things to make each other laugh or tease each other. Like my papa and my self like to take random little figurines or toys type things and put them in weird places all over the house! Rory loved this and always laughs and has fun when she comes!

We have quotes from movies, tv shows, random things we’ve said. Random things children around us have said! Like

Us to Eden a one year old we watch

“What’s the magic word?” – Meme

“Mine!” – Eden……

You truly see them at their best. Their worse. You truly see how strong they are mentally, physically, emotionally, and more then any of them how strong they are spiritually!

I have more respect, love and amazement for my parents then i ever have! Daily I see them overcome things. See them be a shining light in so many peoples life. I see how much their simple things they don’t think are a big. How much of a big deal it is to so many.

I see the hours they put in to do all they. I see their struggles in ways I never have. I see them be brave. I see them be silly! I see them enjoy the simple things.

If it’s just sitting on the sofa and watching the nanny or the walking dead or random other shows! They have joy and find joy in so many things. So many different things. They are amazingly fabulous! But they find the biggest joy they find in the Lord.

Now it’s not always easy but it’s not always hard. It’s not always funny (but honestly most of the time it is!) but above all that it’s always full of love!

Shayweasel and her parents live together..

Feeding tube awareness

February 9, 2018May 5, 2018 / Shannon DeRose / Leave a comment

Feeding tube awareness is important. O have a feeding tube. I’ve had them on and off for the past few years.

I have had NJ tubes which go into your nose and to your small intestines and right now I have PEGJ tube which goes into my small intestines.

Every day I wake up and make my feeding tube forumla the kind I use is called real food blends. I put it in a blender with water. I then strain it into a bowl then wash the strainer off and the blender then I strain it into the blender again then I wash the strainer off and bowl off and then strain it back into the bowl and then wash the blender off and strainer and strain it into the blender I then get my feeding tube bags that I use and put the mixed strained real food blends into the bag. I close the bag turn the bag upside down and put my fingers on the blue longer part of the bag and squeeze lightly to get the air out of the bag and then prime the line that will connected to my feeding tube the one that goes into my PEGJ that hangs outside my stomach.

It takes lots of work but I would be doing this even if I was eating. I do this sometimes 3 times a day depending on what my body handles a day.

I’m thankful for this that saves my life

Shayweasel out

realizing Relief Requires Relaying

January 18, 2018May 5, 2018 / Shannon DeRose / Leave a comment

I don’t like seeing others in pain. I don’t want anyone to ever have a battle in life even through we all do. I don’t want anyone to go through anything like I have. So when life gets scary I want to hold tight to my friends and let them know I’m here.

The thing is I’m not physically close to most of my friends. I see them lose there freedom. And then every time I see God.

I lived in Seaboard a small town with lots of people over 60… a lot of them little old ladies! I loved them all!! As I lived there my papa started taking me with him on his visits to their houses or hospital or nursing home. The longer we were there the more my heart fall in love with going to visit people.

I started riding my bike and going to there house sometimes sitting on the porch talking to them. They were always so kind.

I believe in God, I beleive He knew how to make my life. You can find the lines He put in place for me to be here!

I didn’t have a lot of friends my age but I got good at being pen pals at sitting in waiting rooms with family as they waited for their loved ones. I got good at asking questions so I could keep someone talking. I got good at being around pumps, wires helping cool weird foods and being kind listening and not getting annoyed when someone would tell me the same thing ten times. I felt calm. I learned how people are people no matter what we see. Leo Boone was a man who was paralyzed from the neck down. He was always smiling.

I learned animals are amazing at making people connect sometimes. It’s not that I didn’t already know these things I just learned more about them.

When I was in the hospital even if it was for me or someone else I didn’t mind I had done this before. People always told me I’d make a great nurse I normally told them thank you. Deep down I knew I felt something I needed to be.. and medical was involved.

My friends have health problems, my family does too. I learned and owe more to how God set my life up then any thing I can imagine.

I didn’t want to relay on anyone but truthful I have too. The person I have to relay on that each of us has to relay on is God.

People sometimes act as is you are stronger when you don’t replay on others. And truly it is you are stronger when you relay on others.

You will never be able to find relief without Realizing that it Requires relating on others. Everyone needs to be able to have others relay on them and others to relay on its a balance.

Shayweasel realizing Relief Requires Relaying

Why Having Friends With Illnesses Is Helpful To Me

September 9, 2015September 9, 2015 / Shannon DeRose / 3 Comments

The other day I told someone about my friends, this person knows me sorta well but not like super well the person was confused to why half the friends I talked about had chronic incurable diseases, She asked very kindly “Why do you have friends who are ill?” And I tried to give a good answer but I didn’t do so well..

So here is my answer…

When you are in school you make friends who like some of the same things you like. When you are a working adult you make friends with people who like the same stuff you like. If you like going to clubs or going to see people perform you make friends with people who like the same. Its a human thing. You need something in common to keep being friends and to talk. When you are diagnosed or just become ill, you suddenly can’t relate to a lot of your friends or to anyone. But when you make a friend who also is ill you can relate, Oh you vomit four times a day? Oh have you ever done blank? Its a weird thing but you can talk about stuff that others would see as not socially acceptable.

My friends and myself talk about vomiting and getting stuff in a feeding tube, we talk about pooping and talking medicine and ports and picc lines and we talk about pain and walkers wheelchairs getting tired, we get it. And it’s because we understand it. I was in the hospital and I was FaceTiming with my friend Macy and she wasn’t weirded out when I showed her my picc line and when I vomit while we are talking.

We need people that also have chronic illnesses even if we don’t get to see them a lot in person it helps knowing you aren’t alone. My friends and myself some of us have none of the same diseases and other friends we have one or two of the same diseases, but we all can understand each other on some level, sometimes just someone being able to understand the tired feeling is so helpful, when you are so tired but can’t sleep when pain sets in. it’s nice to know you aren’t alone.

Yea we talk about random things, I had a long text convo with my friend today and we talked about nothing but vomit.. it was on going for about an hour and it wasn’t like we were being gross we were just talking about our day. Life has a chronically ill person isn’t just watching netflix, it’s normally for me anyway watching netflix with a heating pad and vomit bucket.

When you have people who make you feel like it is okay to be well you. Is a very happy fact. So I guess I am trying to say the reason I have friends with chronic incurable diseases is because I need friends who can relate to me on some level. I need people to tell me “Are you napping?” “Did you take you’re walker?” I need people to make me feel like what I am living isn’t boring old shitting life but it’s a good life nonetheless. And my friends make me feel that way. They make me feel like we can press on. That every day is weird and random and pain is a part of every day but we can get through it. I think that when diseases make you feel horrid you know that life with this disease can be ever so changing.. Life has been fantastically amazing even in comas seizures and other things it doesn’t make it less just different..

So yea…..

Shayweasing it…

To The People Who Say I Talk About My Illnesses To Much

June 26, 2015 / Shannon DeRose / 2 Comments

On a couple different occasions people have told me I talk about my illnesses too much..

We need to go back, to a moment….

When was the first time you heard about autism? How did you learn about peanut allergies? What was the first time you knew what Crohn’s disease was? What about cancer?? ….. Who told you these things? And if you say you read it on the Internet..

Then someone had to talk about it for you to read it.. Someone had to write the words you wrote. Someone had to discuss what was going on inside their own body or someone close to them..

These things NEED to be talked about, how many life have been saved since people started talking about breast cancer? How many earlier screens have saved a life? How many people have known the symptoms of meningitis and knew when to go get help? How do you know to go to the doctor when you have the flu? Because you knew what to watch for…

Someone has to talk about these things for you to understand them…

People don’t know normally what is Gastroparesis is or what it’s like having 9 food allergies let alone 40 food allergies.. And the only way we can find a cure the only way we can get better is… By talking about it..

And on the other hand.. When I do everything throughout the day I must think.. Is this food safe? Did I touch something? Did I get up too fast? Am I having an allergic reaction? Is my headache my normal headache or something more?

My body is failing me, I can’t go throughout a day without thinking about it.. I am not talking about my illnesses because I’m bored or have nothing else going on but because no matter what I do no matter how I handle my life. My illnesses control part of it. I must think about it because if I don’t.. I could kill myself. If I touched a walnut if I wasn’t paying attention to what I was eating, if I didn’t watch what I was doing. I could hurt even kill myself…

My illnesses don’t take breaks, my illnesses don’t take days off, my illnesses don’t get magically better with medicine.. My illnesses without meaning to have to control part of what I do because I am living in a body that is broken but no way to fix it…

So yes I talk about my illnesses a lot yes this is part of my life on a daily basis if I didn’t talk about it you wouldn’t know what it was or what I was going through. You wouldn’t understand how easily a peanut can kill me or corn, a tree nut, or even some food that I didn’t crew well… Something could kill me easily and by talking about it it could save me…

There is this part of me that wants you to know that the main reason I talk about it, is because if we don’t talk about it because if we say nothing then nothing will change.. We won’t get treatment… we won’t get a cure.. We won’t get better life because no one will be doing research about what’s going on inside our bodies.

We not only need awareness we need understanding… We need help, because we need people to understand give us as much awareness as possible because then maybe we could save another life from pain and from being without a diagnoses and without help… Because people with chronic illnesses, rare diseases can go years in horrid pain without a diagnosis without any help, and without understanding…

So thankfully we have people who talk about rare diseases, chronic illnesses because maybe one day when I say I have EoE people will have as much understanding as they do for when someone says they have cancer..

I didn’t choose to get a rare disease I just got a few… So if I don’t talk about my rare disease no one will know..

So yes my diseases are sometimes the highlight of my life but it’s because it affects my life in every way…

Thanks for reading about my talking about my illnesses, diseases can be invisible, which is why they are called invisible illnesses, we must first understand that awareness is the key..

If you want to talk about this more with me, leave a comment or email me, we can discuss the horridness of chronic and rare diseases,

Shayweasel out…

Shayweasel

Continuous Stream of Consciousness

chronic illness living

living with your parents.. as an adult

Why Having Friends With Illnesses Is Helpful To Me

To The People Who Say I Talk About My Illnesses To Much