how to handle life

Write Your Story

/ Shannon DeRose / Leave a comment

I have this notebook my sister Stephie gave me, on it it reads “Write Your Story” my whole life I’ve heard this saying write your story, make your own life, live your own life, but I have noticed lately.. People they don’t live there life’s, they just live… They just go doing nothing, but they aren’t taking breaths with purpose and they aren’t writing their own stories they are letting their stories be written for them.

IMG_5665 (2)

Its as if we live in a world where you can live with the way things are or we can change them or we can try to change them, we might take a long time we change them. But we are working throws it.

Its hard to write your own story, because that means you have to live with purpose and with love and you have to try so much harder than ever just to live, you have to be able to try you have to let yourself try and write it. It doesn’t mean you plan out every part of your life it means you live your life as it happens.

When you fall, you get up, you go on. You keep living you keep going on with your life. You don’t give up. You will get shot down on a weekly basis but you have to remember that you are amazing.

People will hate you but truly as long as you don’t hate you, you’ll be okay.. Life is amazing it demands to be lived. Life doesn’t happen when you sit on the side lines if you’re like me you don’t do well playing the field but you’ve found a way to be in the action without ever stepping a foot on the field. I don’t play the same games as the ones on the field but it doesn’t mean I’m not living.

IMG_5662 (2)

I will be the author of my own story, I will live my life. I can’t live anyone else’s because my life is my own. I take breaths and I walk and I believe in tomorrow. I also believe in today.

Because tomorrow could always be worse than today, so believe in today.

I leave you with this.. When you live life as just with going through and not really trying are you then one writing your story? Or is someone else in control? Or are you letting the way other people feel about you… Have an impact on your writing of your story?

 Write your story, no one could write it better then you…

The Trail Less Traveled is Full of Spiders

/ Shannon DeRose / Leave a comment

I woke up yesterday, and made up my mind that I was going on a walk. A good long one. I was going to do this.

IMG_4885

I packed my backpack with my purse a camera and some water. And I left on my walk. I had a rebound headache from the migraine I had the day before, my back hurt from my kyphosis, my allergies started to attack as soon as I step outdoors, but I was going on this walk that was for sure, I walked through the park I had walked to.

There was this trail that lead off the main trail I was on and it made me think about how the trails that are less traveled are normally full of spiders and bugs and sometimes they have animals that will attack you. I took this path because it seemed cool but I soon turned around when I saw the huge spider in the middle of the trail. But in life I don’t get to turn around, I either have to walk through the spider web or I just have to stand there in front of it, because turning around in life is something you can’t do, you can’t retrace your steps, you can’t go back to how yesterday was.

But you can stand in front of the spider or you can figure out a way to go around it, or you can walk through the spider web even through its gonna be hard to get that web off you and you might even get a spider on you. Or you can do what I normally do, grab something and pull the spider web down. And then walk through it.

IMG_4905

You know when you have any problem in life, if it be sickness, a death, a choice you have to make whatever when these things show up its almost like you can stand and stare at the spider or the problem or you can walk through it, you know its going to be bad but you can go through it.

Sometimes in life I feel like we go through almost blindly we don’t know we are walking on a path we sometimes get lost in the woods, but somehow we get back on the path after a while and sometimes its a different path then we were on before.

When I first became ill, I was lost in the woods for a year, I was sick and I was horrified, but I found this path about a year ago, and it was one I had never been on, So I took this path and I followed it mindlessly as the doctors and nurses told me they didn’t have all the answers, I then found some people along the way on the same path different parts, I found people like Aileen and Macy who had illnesses too, they let me rant about stuff and they had me laughing.

IMG_4912

This path that us spoonies take is one thats very strange to most people in the world mainly because they’ve never seen it. But through all the trees and all the daisies and through all the spider webs we handle this trail is amazing.

The sun shines so bright when it hits that one spot, and you start to like all the trees and you start to find things that make you happy, When you’re sick you find happiness in simple things, you don’t need everything you just want little things. Like those five dollar cookies or that lipstick or makeup or that one mask you wanted that was five dollars more than you wanted to spend.

I have walked through black widow spider webs that then sent me into anaphylaxis I have walked in the rain but the trees they made the rain less… This trail or road less traveled is full of spiders and ants and bees but its full of really rare beautiful things that on the road that is more so traveled they have beat to the ground because so many people have walked on them. I’m not saying its better I’m saying its different.

I know life is hard for everyone in different ways, everyone struggles with different things but every once in a while when a spider is in my way and I fall to the ground horrified of the spider, thats when I miss out but when I grab a stick and tear down that spider web, I know I did something.

IMG_4907

Its not easy but it never will be and I think part of me is becoming okay with that. I’m partly happy to be on this road thats been so hard to live…

Well… This has been Wesday the day where I rant about whatever it is that I please!!

 Come back on Friday for Shay-De foodie Friday where I give you recipes for food and on Sunday which is total randomness…

IMG_4917

  Shayweaseling it!

Why weekends are hard…

/ Shannon DeRose / 2 Comments

I hate mondays Fridays, I know what? Shay? How can you hate the weekend they are fantastic. One let me say I haven’t always hated them. And I still hate Thursdays more than I hate Fridays but for me I hate the idea of the weekend, that you have to go out and hang out with friends or if you don’t have plans then you are just going to die alone or become a cat lady.

I mean its not a big deal. I have been a nanny and my idea of a friday night was the parets going out and me making like 100 dollars thats my idea of Friday for a long time and when I wasn’t working I would sit in my living room watching TV shows or movies or I would be on tumblr for like nine hours.

So I don’t get where this you have to be busy on the weekend sleep in and go out and party or go to church on sunday. I don’t get it. I want to do what I do on a normal day. To me the weekend ends up normally being really boring and I don’t enjoy it because everyone is saying “Oh my I’m doing blah blah..” I mean even if I had a lot of friends who wanted to do stuff the weekend wouldn’t be when I wanted to hang out it would most likely be a random day.

But I want to say since my chronic illness kicked in over drive, the weekends end up being really hard on me. I feel like I am missing out on a part of live that I never knew I needed but I don’t need it. You might be someone in school or work the weekdays and when you get a free day its like fantasticness but to me it sometimes end up making me sad because I’m like I don’t have energy to do anything and its not going to change just because its the weekend sometimes I have good days but they are normally on a weird day like Tuesday and I get to make breakfast and go to the store, but my body doesn’t know that its the weekend. It does what it wants to.

So why am I telling you all this? Because I know that people with chronic illnesses might feel the same way, so if you know someone who has a chronic illness go over and watch a movie with them and don’t try and make them talk to much or anything just let them be but be there with them. It means a lot when you get a friend who can sit in the same room on their laptop as you and not talk but will say something like did you see this?

Or when we need to rant about shit you listen. Its hard because we might seem whiny but it really is that some of us aren’t around people. Don’t talk to people, and a lot of us don’t get to see very many people at all or only talk to people online.

The weekends are hard because its not just we can’t get out its that no one wants to stay in and no one wants to hang out with you.

When you are diagnosed with a chronic illness you normally lose half your friends right off the bat and it kills small parts of you. So yes, if you want to help make weekends better then just be there and say what’s on your mind.

My name is ShayWeasel and this has been a weirdish public blog post…

#spooniestrong #weekendssuck #fuckit

Health is amazing!!

/ Shannon DeRose / Leave a comment

when you get diagnosed with anything, you have some options, you can make up your mind that you are going to just “deal” with it. You can try and find a cure. Or you can make up your mind that you aren’t just going to “deal” with it or try and find a cure but you are going to have this disease or syndrome or allergy or other health issues and say “Welcome to my life.” It’s not that you want this illness or whatever to stay and hurt you, but you aren’t just going to “deal”

No I’m not battling any illnesses, I’m living and I’m blessed to have problems, I know I sound like a Pollyanna (overly glad person) but you can’t let something, like a health problem or something like food allergies and things that could possibly kill you.

Tomorrow I could go to the store and not purposefully touch a walnut on my way to the restroom and pass out from anaphylactic shock in the restroom and die. Thats a possibility. Its something that could happen. Life can kill you or it can make you scared to live or you can just live. You can live with anything.

WE as humans can adapt to anything, we will learn to be happy without anything. People die and we have to keep going on.

So you’ve been diagnosed with something that in time will either kill you or you have a possibility of dying from it. Think of it like this

Yesterday morning your great-grandma who was 105 years old passed away, you have to feel sad and go and lie her body in the ground. After you have lied her in the ground you have a strange choice, you can either go on or just sit and cry, so take a moment and remember what life was like with them and then get up and go on.

Walk the miles you want, do what you wanted to do before all this, but you will just have to do it differently, yes everythings going to change but its okay. Its good change. You will miss things you will cry moments of life will fall and you won’t get to be apart of it. But life can be fantastic.

Illnesses, health “problems” are just random things that happen, if you didn’t have this health thing or whatever you would have something else that would make you complain and make your life annoying. This isn’t going to be easy, I mean seriously nothing is easy. Which I personally am happy for.

It took me a long time to really understand how blessed I am to be able to understand people who have things that aren’t a bump in the road no they are a random hill thats really nice to have met along the way. I like my bumps, I like my holes, and I like the things that make my life hard because without them, I wouldn’t be Shay, I wouldn’t be okay with how much change can happen in a moment or a day or just a minute. Life changes everyday we have to deal with things.

 

I’m not right about half the stuff I say, but its what I think and what I think is what I think and no one else can think it for me, so if you don’t like it, then you don’t have to read it or hear it. I’m glad people are all different, I’m glad that we can life at stupid stuff that happens, remember that not everyone is out to get you. And that some are.

So welcome if you are newly blessed with a health issue, because this world is a beautifully artful place with randomness all over your face but it is amazing. Its just amazing.

What to know…

/ Shannon DeRose / Leave a comment

I want to know… But really is what to know, I need to stay on a need to know basics but sometimes is more of a what to know basics,

I know when I go to the hospital they are not on a need to know basics they are on a what to know… what happened.. what are you allergic to… what is wrong?… what kind of pain?? what to know is sometimes a weirdly important part. Its the small things that mess everything up. Its when you want to know something and then learn that you don’t really need to know it. But every now and every then, you learn what to know. And sometimes its when that person tells you what to know that you go… and take that deep breath and you know, that the air is clear and that the pain is right in the heart.

What to know about me… I’m not sure, I barely know me. I have only lived with myself for well about 23 years, I have lived outside the womb for 22 years but I have been alive for 23 years, I like the air I breath even though my lungs believe I need help sometimes. And my body for some reason believes that most foods and most things that you can find outdoors are evil so therefore attacks them, is what makes the world one kind of place that I do highly to the most amazing enjoy.

What to know about Shannon DeRose, is that its just who I am. I am not the enjoyer of a small plant of random food. I ask way too many questions and I normally fall into trouble for this. I would not say I am an easy going person. I like who I am, and everyone else is learning to deal with who I am.

Now what to know about life is that there isn’t a place for everyone but I believe that we can make places for ourselves. We can make everyone have a place, but I think some of us come out with a whole lot of craze and we have to make a place in this world for us, and people who aren’t like us.

   What to know is that we can make places for us. We have to try. And never quit and sometimes we have to say behold….What we need to know is up to us…