abpve my bedside table I have a sign that my sister Stephanie and me found on sale a few days after halloween. at that time stephanie and my;f were frighting my diseases and Truly stephie was fighting harder then me. I was scared and worried. Stephie never stopped fighting. and i’m forever grateful for that.


But  bacl to the sign i rant and go into the trail with lots of stephies. Sorry focus I;m not always this bad at thinking hhahaah


‘living oue own Nightmare right here’ the sign now is above my hope chest/bedside table. I live in a nightmare of death, and never ending treatments and meds and tubes, but this [ast year after coming out of UVA a hospital who did horrible things to me. That sign ;iving my own nightmare right here was very much true the biggest fear had happened. i was crushed.

Myself and my parents moved together to beaufort a small town on the coast.

I look back to last year and I feel lke I can’t even believe that was me being so hopeless so scare and worried today I worry but my sisters even though we didn’t live together frougt for me my famil, my aunts uncles cousins all made me believe I could live.


My nightmare is still happening pains meds tubes drugs surgery shots and death are close all the time but since I knew I couldn’t get rid of it I started living with it. I am trying to make my nightmare a daydream a small happy moment of life.


I could never give up because I;m not the only fighting for me. instead of fighting with my family and friends and doctors I know am fighting with not agenst. I’m living my own nightmare and thats ok =.


Shayweasel out fighting peacefully and lovingly

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