It Ain’t My Fault

It Aint My Fault

 

img_5172

 

I have had random humans though out my life blame me for my illnesses, for my diseases, you know the diseases I was born with?

I’ve met people who believe some people with diseases are being punished by God by either something they did or that their parents did.

I see this as a nagative way to look at the world. See I see it as this.. I have diseases to show case the mighty power of God show people that God is stronger then any human that sin happens and it doesn’t mean I can’t praise the Lord. I see that these diseases that eat my body and kill me are powerful but God is more powerful but God doesn’t have to cure me to  show his powerful fantasticalness.

I don’t need a cure, I need love, caring, and I’m here so get over it. I’m not being punished neither are my parents, grandparents, so get over your self. I don’t need God to cure me to know he loves me, I have accepted my failing body and I’ve made quite a home inside this body and one day I’ll go to heaven and level me behind.

 

but it ain’t my fault I have diseases, It Ain’t My Fault I have autism, it is not in my belief that it is anyones fault. Its just how it is. It is life so just accept it.

I’m not saying being in pain basically 24/7 is fantastic but this is my life and it ain’t my fault and it ain’t all bad. I have fantastically friends and I have made my faith with God strong and I have a pretty fabulous family who loves me and it ain’t there fault I have a disease either.

 

 

It Ain’t My Fault when you don’t understand. I am not at fault for faulty understanding and faulty treatments. I didn’t ask to have diseases but now that I have them. Its ok. I don’t mind. I’m very blessed and maybe just maybe if I can learn to be happy then other people will see they can be joyful and happy in darkness… I feel like I found a Macy Jazzy Dara Cheyanne Aannajoh and Jojo in the darkness and was just like wait its dark? Huh I didn’t even notice…

Because if you just keep falling over things you just start thinking its normal. If you don’t care to get up when you fall down and just start crawling around in the darkness and no I’m not looking for the rainbow I’m pretty sure I have the rainbow, its inside each of the wonderful people in my life.

It is my fault that I forget that other people will never understand how to be joyful when the darkness closes in…

It Ain’t My Fault that my mom gave me sassiness and I took it with pride and am now ShayWeasel. I like who I am. And I don’t care if you don’t understand but I want to show you that you can truly understand. Try..

So Maybe instead of thinking diseases are curses we could see them as gifts, as things people wish they had. I don’t wish away my diseases. I do however wish away mean people. I love who I am. I sometimes wish these diseases didn’t hurt people close to me I hope I can bless the world. I do control one thing, I control how I react to the diseases, to the diagnoses. But it still ain’t my fault that these diseases have almost killed me. that the Lord gave me them. He knew that I was weird enough to handle it, well sorta. I believe that not everything happens for a reason unless we make a reason.

And the darkness that I’ve lived in and adapted too. and be ok with.. That is how I make the reason. It Ain’t my Fault this diseases are like scary, and are totally horrid, I mean no i don’t want to be in pain anymore but I don;t mind being in pain if that is how God wants me to change the world. To show grace. To show love.

I’ll take it. I will learn to get through. I can get through anything. I mean I’ve gotten through a lot with weirdness, awkwardness (lots of awkardness) and I have hope that I will keep going, but I just hope for treatment because maybe I don’t need a cure. I just need to accept this ain’t my fault. And get some treatment to get through.

 

Shayweasel is more confusing then most people thought… Have a darkness full day where you didn’t even know it was dark…

 

Shay weasel out..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s